Trinity Faegen Blog

“…and she’s buying a stairway to heaven.”

Trinity — Wed, 16 May 2012 19:29:43 +0000

Today I’m posting the cover of The Mephisto Kiss here on my own blog. I think Egmont did a wonderful job, carrying over a similar theme for this one from the first book in the series. I like the switch – blonde to dark and black to white. I really hope readers enjoy this one. At this point, I’m in that rosy glow all authors have before the book is ‘out there.’ It’s still what I imagine it to be. Egmont sent me 10 ARCs and as I understand it, they won’t be sending ARCs to bloggers until mid August. If you’d like one now, I donated a copy to the Brenda Novak auction to benefit the Cure for Diabetes. You can bid to win it, and your money goes to a most excellent cause.

And now, here’s Jordan on the cover of The Mephisto Kiss!

“Time won’t ever steal my soul…”

Trinity — Fri, 11 May 2012 12:00:04 +0000

Today is the day we’re revealing the cover of The Mephisto Kiss! A thousand thanks to lovely Cari Soto of Cari’s Book Blog, who’s so graciously hosting the cover reveal. She coordinated with other incredible, wonderful bloggers and they are ALL posting the cover today! Yes, I’m totally verklempt.

And I’m once again blown away by the creative team at Egmont USA. We have another girl in a dress, but not just any girl. It’s Jordan Ellis, dark-haired and petite, a gymnast who also happens to be the First Daughter. She wears this dress in a crucial scene, and trust me when I say, bluebells play a very large part in her story. And, of course, there are the mountains surrounding Mephisto Mountain, in southern Colorado.

I’m posting a small excerpt here, but first, a Contest! I’ve been told blogger ARCs won’t go out until August, and if the book is to be on NetGalley, it won’t go up until August. That means there are no ARCs out there – unless you count my very small box. I’m going to give a signed one away, so if you would like to be entered in a drawing to win, leave a comment here and for additional chances, leave a comment on the participating cover reveal blogs.

These bloggers are AMAZING and wonderful for posting The Mephisto Kiss cover, so please, go show them some love. For every comment you make, you’ll have another chance to win the ARC. Contest ends Monday, May 14, 2012 at 6 pm CST and is open internationally.

Here’s the back cover blurb:

The eyes never lie. No one’s eyes are darker than Eryx’s. Not even the Devil’s.

When Jax and Sasha first see Jordan Ellis, they know she is no ordinary teenager. She’s the daughter of the President after all, but she’s also Anabo – a descendant of Eve.

What they don’t know is that Eryx plans to kidnap Jordan and force President Ellis to pledge his soul. If Eryx’s plot succeeds, the consequences would be catastrophic.

But the Mephisto brothers do know about Jordan’s secret identity. And for one of them, she could be the match that leads to their soul’s salvation.

Now it’s a desperate race against time to save Jordan and prevent Eryx’s haunting eyes from discovering her true identity.

A thrilling story of romance, danger, and intrigue, THE MEPHISTO KISS continues the marvelous mythology that began in THE MEPHISTO COVENANT.

We’ll post all of Chapter One later in the summer, but for now, as promised, here’s a wee excerpt:

~The Mephisto Kiss~

Kissing Matthew was one of Jordan’s favorite things to do, but tonight was different. Instead of enjoying the feel of his arms around her and the slow, gentle slide of his mouth over hers, all she could think about was the argument she’d had with her father before she came to Matthew’s house.

In the middle of the kiss, she sighed, and he pulled back a little, gazing at her from soft, brown eyes. “It’s not something you could have prevented. You didn’t even see the e-mail until . . . after. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“It’s not that. Not entirely, anyway. It’s Dad. After the news hit about that girl’s suicide, he told me I have to quit doing the TV spots for STOP, that I can’t be their spokesperson anymore, and we got in an epic fight about it. Why does everything I do have to be about him?”

With long, warm fingers, Matthew smoothed the hair at her temples. “Well, he is the president, and you’ve said yourself that your family lives in a fishbowl. STOP is a great thing, but every time it doesn’t work, the newspeople make a big deal about your involvement. As long as you’re part of it, they’re going to focus on you instead of the kids it’s supposed to help.”

Pulling away from him, she sat up on the sofa. Across the room, the closing credits of the movie they’d just watched rolled across the screen. “When I turned seventeen, Dad asked me to do some of the things a First Lady does, since Mom’s gone. I had lessons about how to greet state visitors and which fork to use and how to talk to reporters. Dad’s press secretary wanted me to get involved with breast cancer awareness, since that’s how Mom died, but I wanted to work with STOP, because of Holly.” Volunteering to do public-service announcements for the Suicidal Teens Outreach Program had been her way of dealing with her friend’s death, and now Dad was telling her she had to quit. It felt like a betrayal of Holly’s memory.

“Maybe it’s not a bad idea to step back. Those e-mails eat you up, and since you aren’t allowed to respond to any of them, it just frustrates you and makes you depressed.”

He had a point. She’d had notes from kids that sliced her soul to ribbons. Some managed to work through their problems, but some didn’t. Like the girl who e-mailed Jordan in the middle of last night and said she was all done, that she was giving up. By the time Jordan saw it, the girl was dead from an overdose of sleeping pills.

As the First Daughter, she received hundreds, sometimes thousands of e-mails every week. It was White House policy that each e-mail receive a reply, and most were a generic response sent by Carla, the press secretary’s assistant, or one of several staffers who worked under her, but they always flagged the e-mails they felt needed a personal reply from Jordan. Since Jordan had become the public face of STOP, she also received e-mails from desperate teens, and those received a reply expressing concern and compassion, along with the phone number and e-mail address for STOP. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to respond personally; she wasn’t allowed. The press secretary was adamant about it, because of who she was. If she counseled someone who still killed himself, it would be a PR disaster for Dad. Everything was always about the presidency. Most of the time, she didn’t mind, but sometimes it really got to her. “I told Dad that the news will call me a quitter, and it’ll look worse.”

“And what did he say?”

She turned her head and looked at him over her shoulder. “He said it wouldn’t be the worst thing said about him.” Sucking in a deep breath, she let it out slowly. “It’s so bad, Matthew, like everything Dad does is wrong. He said every bill he signs to fix a problem seems to create another one. Unemployment is higher than it’s ever been. His approval rating is almost as low as Nixon’s the day he resigned from office.”

“My dad says he listened to the wrong people and took bad advice.”

Just that morning, she’d noticed Dad looked really old. “After Mom died, he shouldn’t have run for a second term, but he did, and now it’s all wrong.”

Matthew rubbed her back. “Come on, Jordan, don’t be so down. Let’s do something that’ll take your mind off of all the negative.”

“Like what?”

“We could go upstairs to my room.”

“Are you serious?” She turned her head again and saw the look in his ordinarily calm eyes. “Oh, wow, you are serious! Geez, Matthew, way to be inappropriate. I’m supersad and bummed out, and you’re saying we should have sex?”

“It’s not like we haven’t been going out forever, so why not tonight? It’d be something to remember from this day that isn’t a bummer.”

She turned away and tucked her hair behind her ears. “I just got through telling you what a bad place my dad is in. Can you imagine if I got pregnant? It’d kill him.” She sighed again. “Not to mention the field day the newspeople would have with that.”

“You won’t get pregnant.”

“Says you. Nothing’s for sure, and it’s not a risk I want to take.” She focused on the movie credits and waited for Matthew to tell her she needed to stop running everything she did through the filter of living in the White House. Other than going off about Auburn football, it was his favorite lecture.

Instead, he asked, almost in a whisper, “Do you love me?”

Ohmigod, he dropped the L word. Out of nowhere, when she least expected it. Her friend, Tessa, said he’d do it eventually, that it was every guy’s last-ditch effort to get a girl to say yes. Jordan told her Matthew wasn’t like that. Sure he asked—he was a seventeen-year-old guy, after all—but she always said no, rolled out some variation of the Speech, he gave her the Lecture, and they moved on. Rinse and repeat.

Now he changed everything by asking if she loved him. Inwardly cringing, she held the do-you-love-me grenade gingerly while she debated what to say. What if she said yes, and he didn’t say he loved her, too? It would be out there, with no way to take it back. She’d die of humiliation.

But what if she said she wasn’t sure, and he broke up with her? She wasn’t ready for life without Matthew. Other than Tessa, he was her best friend, and yes, she did love him, but not necessarily like that. Not enough to sleep with him.

The credits came to an end, and the menu screen popped up. Turning to look at Matthew, she lobbed the grenade back at him. “Do you love me?”

He reached for her arm and tugged until she was back against his side. “I’ve never known a girl like you, Jordan. You think the only reason everybody likes you is because your dad’s the president, but it would be the same if he was a garbageman. It’s not him. It’s you, and whatever’s inside you that makes everybody want to hang with you.” He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. “It’s part of the reason I keep asking about sex, because it’d make me feel more sure about us, that you’d be less likely to bail on me.”

Lifting her face, she met his eyes. “You worry that I’ll break up? Seriously?”

His arms tightened. “All the time.” Sincerity was all over his face, and his smile was crooked, like he was embarrassed. “I love you, Jordan.”

She almost couldn’t breathe. This was romantic. This was awesome. Pressing a kiss to his soft mouth, she was about to whisper, “I love you back,” but didn’t get it out before there were two loud pops from the street, just outside the window, making her jump. “Somebody has firecrackers.”

Looking completely freaked out, Matthew grabbed her hand while he shoved away from the back of the sofa. “That wasn’t firecrackers.”

A loud crash came from the front hall, and she whipped her head around just as the door flew open. Two men in ski masks rushed inside, each with an arm extended, holding a handgun.

Matthew was already lunging from the sofa, pulling her along as he booked it toward the kitchen. In those few seconds, all she could think was, Where is the Secret Service? There were two agents, one in front of Matthew’s house, one in back, and they were constantly in contact with police patrolling the area, so help had to be on the way already. But why weren’t the agents inside? Had these guys shot Maggie out there on the front steps? Where was Paul? He had to have heard the shots. He should be coming inside, right now, but as they cleared the swinging door into the kitchen from the den, there was no one.

Matthew was headed for the back door. An alley ran behind the row of town houses, and once they were outside, in the dark, they could run and find somewhere to hide until—

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard another gunshot.

It broke into pieces when Matthew stumbled and let go of her hand.

The Mephisto Kiss coming September 25, 2012 from Egmont USA

Available for preorder at Egmont USA, Amazon, Barnes & Noble or your favorite Indie, including Blue Willow Bookshop in Houston.

I’ll post the cover here next week. In the meantime, please visit all the lovely bloggers who have it at their sites. And for now, here’s a picture of ‘downtown’ Telluride. Enjoy!

“…let me wander over yonder til I see the mountains rise…”

Trinity — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 04:09:29 +0000

Bonus points to anyone who can tell me what song today’s blog post title is from.

I’m packing right now, getting ready to head to Montana on Wednesday. My friend, Kari Dell, invited me to come up to Cut Bank, Montana for the annual Storytellers Roundup. It looks like a seriously fun weekend and I’m all kinds of excited to be there. If you live anywhere close to the vicinity, I hope you’ll come out and have some food and fun!

On Friday, I’m tagging along with the bluegrass band, Leftover Biscuits, to visit two Hutterite colonies. I’m told they’d like for me to sing with them – maybe some Allison Krause. Stop laughing. I’m going to read to the Hutterites from my friend Caroline Starr Rose’s sublime middle grade novel-in-verse, May B. (I didn’t think Mephisto was really appropriate for this venue.) I think they’ll love May B. It’s such a lovely story and so beautifully written. Caroline is destined to be one of the greats in children’s literature. It’s just gravy that she’s warm and wonderful.

So that’s my news. I’m still recovering from tax season, and pondering what to write next. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I hope you’re living the dream!

“My heart is like an open highway…”

Trinity — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 15:51:35 +0000

I’m SO Excited!!! Hooray!

So whatcha doing this Saturday? If you’re anywhere in the vicinity of Houston, Texas, I hope you’ll come to the Greater Houston Teen Book Convention at Alief Taylor High School. The list of participating authors is epic! It looks to be a fun time, so bring pizza money and come say hello!

“…flying in circles inside a jar…”

Trinity — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:30:22 +0000

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Today I’m announcing which brother The Mephisto Kiss is about. Opinions about which one you hoped it would be were all over the board, but here’s how the numbers fell:

Kyros – 13
Denys – 5
Phoenix – 4
Ty – 3
Zee – 3
Any brother will do – 5

Thanks so much for weighing in, everyone! This was a lot of fun, and I hope you’re happy with who it is. Are you ready? Is my Valentine a hint?

If not,

maybe these

will

give

you

a better

idea…

If you guessed Kyros, who goes by Key, you’d be on the money. Also very sharp because those were subtle hints, right? *wink*

This is a love/hate book. Not the characters – me. It was incredibly difficult to write, for many reasons, and for a long time, I glared at it, avoided it, sweet-talked it, and finally, fell in love with it. Any author will tell you, there’s a defining moment when we’re captivated by a project, and that moment came late in the process for me with this book. When it hit, however, I can unequivocally say I fell hard. It’s different than The Mephisto Covenant in so many ways, but I think the flavor is still there – the grim realities of human nature, the beauty of the mountains, the slow, sometimes painful buildup of love between opposites. Except Jordan isn’t all that opposite from Key. She’s a natural born leader, and as First Daughter, she’s learned to speak out, but with a certain diplomacy. Key is never diplomatic. He’d be an autocrat if the other Mephisto would allow it. As it is, he can be cold, hard and unwavering with his edicts. Which is why Jordan was so insanely fun to write, because she dishes it back to him. He’s torn between his need for her to fall in love with him, and over a thousand years of calling the shots. I love this book SO hard, and I hope you will, too.

As promised, here is a wee excerpt from The Mephisto Kiss, but from Chapter 8 instead of Chapter 1. Sometime in June, we’ll upload Chapter 1 in its entirety. I’d planned to do that today, but marketing asked me to wait. So, for now, here’s a little bit from Key and Phoenix:

The Mephisto Kiss
Excerpt from Chapter 8

Key stared across the library at dust motes in the beams of sunlight coming through the west window. “She isn’t what I expected.”

His brother didn’t respond right away. They sat with only the crackle of the fire and the tick of the grandfather clock in the corner to
break the silence. After a while, Phoenix said, “Jane wasn’t what I expected.”

Jerking his attention away from the dust motes, he saw Phoenix staring at the clock. “You never said so.”

“I thought I’d find a girl who was strong and independent, who liked to ride as much as I did, who had a spirit of adventure and would go
with me to places like the Himalayas, or the pyramids in Egypt. Instead, I got Jane, who couldn’t walk and was afraid of horses. She was shy, reserved, and a homebody.” Phoenix shifted in his chair and rubbed an invisible spot from the brown leather armrest. “Looking at it from her side, she thought she’d marry an aristocrat who would be as passionate about social change in England as she was, who could
take her to church. Instead, she got me.”

“Who healed her so she could walk. That had to rank higher than social change.”

“Not to Jane.”

Key was floored. “I thought you and Jane were crazy about each other.”

“We were.”

“But you just said—”

“All that was in the beginning, Key. Once I really knew her, I didn’t care so much about the pyramids. She could be funny, which isn’t
something I ever considered important. She had quirks, like hiding dime novels inside her hat so she could sneak away from parties and read. You don’t think about things like that while you’re waiting. You build up this perfect girl in your head, but she doesn’t exist. What you get instead is a real human being, and if you’re lucky like me, she’ll be a million times better than what you imagined and expected.”

“In her hat? Really?”

Phoenix nodded and reached for his book. “She loved scary stories.”

Key got to his feet and walked to the doorway into the front hall, then stopped and said over his shoulder, “Do you ever imagine another
girl?”

“All the time, but now, instead of a girl who’s into pyramids, she’s always Jane.”

Key's story, The Mephisto Kiss, will be out September 25, 2012

And now, I’d like to announce the winners of my giveaway! Please send your mailing address to trinity(at)trinityfaegen(dot)com and I’ll get your prize in the mail to you ASAP, with the exception of The Mephisto Kiss ARC, which I haven’t yet received. As soon as I have them, however, I’ll get one in the mail.

Nook Simple Touch: Jeannette Bruce – Starry Eyed Jen

Signed copy of The Mephisto Covenant: Ashley Amber

Signed ARC of The Mephisto Kiss: Caitlin Audet

Thanks to everyone who entered, and especially thank you for your lovely, kind words of support for the Mephisto. I wish I could send an ARC to everyone, but I get so very few. If you’re a blogger/reviewer and interested in receiving one from Egmont, email me your snail mail and I’ll forward it to the marketing manager. Thank you again, and I hope you have a beautiful Valentine’s Day!

P.S. Today’s title song quote is from Death Cab for Cutie – ‘Codes and Keys’

“…cursed missed opportunities…”

Trinity — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 23:26:52 +0000

Would you like to know which Mephisto brother takes center stage in the next Mephisto book, The Mephisto Kiss? Do you have a favorite? One who you wish it would be? Hint: Due to a glitch, there’s apparently a rollover error on my website, which shows book 2 to be about Xenos. Next hint: It’s a glitch. I mean, it might be about Zee. But then again, it might not be. He’d certainly make an interesting hero, especially with a name like Xenos. I’m pretty excited about The Mephisto Kiss, and because my joy knows no bounds, I’m going to host a giveaway to celebrate announcing details about The Mephisto Kiss.

When: Valentine’s Day.
What: I’ll post part of Chapter One, and then you’ll know which brother is next in line to find his Anabo. Also, there will be prizes!
Where: On my blog and on my FB page.
The Prizes: A NOOK Simple Touch, a signed copy of The Mephisto Covenant, and a signed ARC of The Mephisto Kiss. One prize to three winners.

What you have to do to be entered to win:
1. Live in the United States or Canada.
2. Leave a comment on the blog or on FB and tell me which brother you think/hope it is. Note: This only counts for one entry, so posting both places won’t make a difference.
If you want more chances to win (this is in addition to the above!):
3. Like the Trinity Faegen FB page. Not the post – the page. I have a fragile ego and I need people to like me.
4. Tweet this: I want to win a NOOK or a Mephisto book on 2/14 from @TrinityFaegen when she reveals details about The Mephisto Kiss http://trinityfaegen.com/blog/

Good luck! Thanks for being here, for supporting me & the Mephisto, and for reading. I love readers! We’re like our own village, right?

I’m also planning a lovely cover reveal in early March, which will be hosted by the amazing, warm, wonderful Maria Cari Soto at Cari’s Book Blog. Y’all are going to love the cover. Egmont rocks.

To close, here’s a snippet from The Mephisto Kiss, which will be out September 25, 2012:

Sasha picked up a small plastic bag from the seat of her chair at the end of the table and pulled out a pale blue sweater. “Jax popped into her room and swiped this from her laundry hamper.”

As she walked toward him, he caught the scent of bluebells, reminding him of Yorkshire, where they’d lived for several centuries, until they lost Jane a hundred years ago and moved to Colorado. As much as anything in England, he missed the bluebells.

Darting a look around, he knew from their expressions that Sasha had shown Jordan’s sweater to each of his brothers, and none of them caught the scent of bluebells. All this time, he thought he’d be the last to find an Anabo, but the subtle fragrance of bluebells coming at him from that sweater proved him wrong.

He was so short of breath, he was seriously afraid he’d pass out.

“Run and tell all of the angels…”

Trinity — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 18:41:16 +0000

I think we can all agree that I suck at blogging. We probably all also agree that people who go off about how they suck at blogging, suck. So, just know that I’m aware.

I’ve got a bit of news for readers. Book 2 of The Mephisto Covenant series now has a title and release date!

THE MEPHISTO KISS will be out September 25, 2012. It’s available for preorder at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I turned in second round edits yesterday, so it’s getting closer to a real book. Here’s a quote:

“Oh, that. You’re not confused. You’re falling in love. And it sucks almost as much as it’s amazing.” – Jax

In other book news, I’m in Turkish – how cool is that? The Mephisto Covenant also sold rights to Russia, Denmark and Germany, but thus far I haven’t seen covers for those editions. Also, there will be a paperback edition of The Mephisto Covenant, releasing August 28, 2012. I’m certain to get a few copies, so when that happens, I’ll share the love.

That’s about it for book news, so let’s move on to the next blog subject I’d like to talk about. Recently, there’s been a bit of controversy on the Interwebs between authors and blogger reviewers. I watched some of it unfold, though I didn’t go too far down the rabbit hole. No time, for one thing, but also, I try to avoid unpleasantness, especially when I don’t have a dog in the fight. Life is, truly, too short. All I have to say is that it’s a free society and people have the right to say whatever they like about a book. It’s a little unfair that we as authors aren’t allowed to respond in any way – okay, we’re allowed, but it never, ever ends well. I’ve read reviews of Mephisto that made my blood boil, not because they were bad – although let’s be honest, negative reviews sucketh – but because it was obvious to me that the ‘reviewer’ wasn’t trying to give an honest opinion. A few people are out there who take great pride and joy in their ability to totally trash a book with lots of snark, wit and humor. They have followers of their own, who jump on the bash-the-book train and try to one up each other with the snark. Those are the reviews that make me hurt. They’re the reason I stopped reading any reviews at all, even the good ones. Bottom Line: No matter how rude, cruel or just plain wrong a person is while giving their opinion of my book, they have the right to say what they want. And I have the right to sit in the silence of my office and wish they’d get off my lawn.

One blogger in particular really got my goat. She asked my publicist at Egmont if I’d do an interview, and if they’d provide a book for a giveaway. I answered her interview questions, which went up one day, and Egmont donated a giveaway book, which went up the next day, and the blogger DNFed Mephisto – she stopped at page 100, gave it one star, and went off about how bad it sucked. Bloggers, don’t do this. I was humiliated like whoa. And damn. It’s one thing to say you hate a book, but this person went way over the line, in my opinion. It’s not the same as requesting an ARC for review. We all – authors and publishers – are aware that this may be something negative in the end. We assume, if a blogger asks for an interview and a free $17.99 hardback book, that the blogger has a desire to let her readers know about it – to talk it up and give it some spotlight. I’m still mad, just thinking about it. I’m also a lot more careful about interviews and giveaways.

So, there are readers who behave badly, and authors who reach the end of their rope and say regrettable things, but in the end, the mass majority of us rub along together just fine. Readers will pick up my book, love it, hate it, or feel meh, and some will tell the world, while others will say nothing and move on to the next book. No matter what, I ALWAYS appreciate anyone who reads my work – even the haters. Of all the books out there, that they chose mine is wonderful to me.

Until next time…

Trinity

“…don’t you run back inside, darlin’…”

Trinity — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 17:40:29 +0000

Let’s talk about where ideas for stories come from. I have an author friend who replies, when asked, “I buy them from a guy in Montana.” In interviews, I’ve had all kinds of questions, but I can usually count on this one: ”What inspired you to write The Mephisto Covenant?” In a way, I think that’s a funny question and if you’re a writer, you will, too. Not ha-ha funny. More like, “Wow, I have no idea how to answer this.” It’s not something I think about when I’m beginning a book. The idea is there and after writing, rewriting, starting over, revising, tweaking, beating the damn thing to death, it’s a manuscript. Whatever sparked the original idea is buried deep in my psyche, and telling someone what inspired me is like telling them why I decided to have children. There isn’t just one thing – it’s everything. It’s life, and how I see it from behind my eyes.

Give a roomful of writers a premise and they’ll each come up with a different story. We’re all the sum total of our life experiences, so we all bring something different to the table. I’ve noticed, in my adult fiction, I tend to always have a secondary chracter who’s elderly. They’re always feisty. I wasn’t close to any of my grandparents and I don’t have any reason to spotlight senior citizens, but one always seems to turn up in my stories. If someone were to ask why, I wouldn’t have an answer. I’d have to dig deep to find it.

My standard answer to the what inspired me to write Mephisto question is that it’s my take on studying evil, because of an event in my life that was nothing but pure evil. That’s a pat answer, but it goes so much deeper than that. It’s also for shallow reasons. I love romances, so of course I’m all about writing romance. The Mephisto Covenant is a romance before it’s anything else, but the themes in the story are about good vs. evil, and I suppose it’s because I have a strong sense of justice that’s constantly under fire in a dark world. Evil people exist, although they don’t think they’re evil. That fascinates me. When they get away with it, that pisses me off.

What about you? Are you a writer? Do you think about themes in your stories? Or does an idea strike and you run with it? Is there a recurring element in all your stories? I clearly have some kind of thing about old people, because every time I turn around, there’s one in my story. Before I edited her out, there was an older woman who taught at Telluride High, one who helped Sasha when she was having such a hard time. Another author friend always has dogs in her books, and still another can’t seem to stay away from pie – a character will inevitably eat a slice of pie at some point during the story.

Speaking of pie….hmm….

“I got a scar I can talk about…”

Trinity — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 21:25:17 +0000

I’m anxiously awaiting edits for Book 2 in the Mephisto Covenant series. My editor tells me I’ll have his line edits and the edit letter tomorrow, then we’ll discuss it on Tuesday. This is going to be difficult because the book needs a lot of work. It was, bar none, the hardest book I’ve ever written, for many reasons, and as nervous as I am to get started, I’m also excited. It has great potential, and I have enormous ambition to make it the best it can be.

Exactly a year ago, I received the line edits and letter for Book 1 the same day I received a letter from the folks at the mammogram place, telling me I needed an ultrasound. I went the next day, and the day after that, they told me I needed a biopsy. All my friends said no worries, it’s probably a calcification. You can’t just call a radiologist and schedule a biopsy – you have to be referred, which meant I had to go to Dallas and see my gyno because it had been over 2 years since my last check-up. They wouldn’t refer me without seeing me. So I hopped on a plane, went to Dallas, and did the gyno thing. She looked at the report from the radiology folks here in Midland and said it looked bad. I went that afternoon to get the biopsy and the next morning, they called to tell me I had breast cancer.

There simply are no words to describe the feeling you get when someone says you have cancer. I’ve never known fear like that. Never. I thought of my husband and my girls – would I die and never see them married? Never see grandbabies? Would my mom ever get over it if I died? And what about Russia? It’s on my bucket list, a term I’d always used loosely. Now, I wondered if it was a reality – things to do before I die. The list suddenly changed. Spending more time with my friends and family was now at the top of the list. Enjoying a beautiful day, going to a football game, eating pot roast, hugging my husband – the mundane became miraculous.

I came home after a week in Dallas – I saw so many doctors while there – and began working on the edits for Mephisto. I thanked God my editor hadn’t gotten them to me sooner because I became engrossed and it was the perfect anecdote to worry. I only told my closest friends and family. I didn’t want to be That Guy – I didn’t want this to define me. I also worried it would hurt my career, and some of you know how hard I worked to get here. My breast surgeon told me there’s sometimes a subconscious prejudice toward people who’ve had cancer, I suppose because peoople worry it will come back, you will die, and leave all your commitments hanging. I thought long and hard about posting this, but it occurs to me that if only one person reads it and is motivated to go get a mammogram, it’s important. People need to know that breast cancer isn’t the death sentence it once was. Treatment is still barbaric, but it beats dying.

I went to Dallas in mid-December for a radical mastectomy, the day after I turned in the edited manuscript. I was able to come back to Midland, to my home, two days before Christmas. My girls had decorated and bought and wrapped all the gifts. I swung wildly between elation and pain. I received round 2 edits the second week of January, and did them while sitting in a big chair in the den, popping Valium to counteract the pain. I remember thinking how much better it would be if this hadn’t happened to me, but never, even once, did I feel angry or bitter. The doctors told me I’d live, that I would be cancer free. They also said attitude is everything and no matter what, I wasn’t going to have a bad attitude. I finished the edits and sent them off feeling happy and proud and so eager to see the book published.

I dodged a bullet just after New Years when I went to see the oncologist and she told me I didn’t have to do chemo. Or radiation. I was so lucky, and yet, that was the day I broke down and lost it. Being there, seeing the other patients, walking past the infusion room – it was all so darkly real. My husband kept saying, “Why are you crying? This is the best news we could have gotten!” True, but being there scared the holy crap out of me, hit me in the face and overhwlemed me. A month later, L.K. Madigan passed away and I lost it again. I didn’t know her at all, but her loss made me weep with the total senselessness of it all. Cancer is the devil.

I went at the end of April for reconstruction surgery. To make them match, they put an implant in the ‘good’ breast. Later, they tattooed a nipple on the rebuilt one. So I’ve now done two things I’d always said I wouldn’t do – get a boob job and a tattoo. My lemonade is a righteous cleavage – something I never had before. I went to BEA 3 weeks after the reconstruction surgery and took both of my daughters with me because I couldn’t lift anything and I needed them to help me bandage and medicate the scars. My boob looks like it was in a war. I guess it kinda was. I remember sitting there with a long line of people who wanted an ARC and thinking, this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I am SO lucky to be right here, right now. My boob, my back and my arm were f’ing killing me, but it never entered my mind to beg off and leave. I was dying with joy.

That said, I’m pleased to say I’ve just returned from a round of doctor visits in Dallas and got the all clear. When I receive edits for Book 2, I’ll be able to focus entirely on revising, and maybe that’s not a big deal to some people, but for me, it means everything.

“…and you know it don’t come easy…”

Trinity — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:42:51 +0000

Last year, I was asked to contribute an essay for an anthology published by Smart Pop Books. The anthology is a collection of essays that discuss different elements of mythology within P.C. and Kristin Cast’s House of Night series. I had the privilege of signing advance reading copies at BEA in New York last May, alongside fellow contributors, Jana Oliver and Jeri Smith-Ready. The book released in June.

Until next Tuesday, my essay, The Otherworld Is Greek To Me, will be up in its entirety over at the Smart Pop site. Go take a look, and if you are as big a fan as I am of HoN, go here and comment to be entered to win a signed copy.